Foster Love by Choosing Forgiveness
Have you ever been tempted to share how you’ve been offended? It’s easy to think that if we make the other person look bad for his or her mistake or sin, then we will feel better.
Have you ever been tempted to share how you’ve been offended? It’s easy to think that if we make the other person look bad for his or her mistake or sin, then we will feel better.
This afternoon, while babysitting my grandson, I took him up to his room for his nap. Usually, he snuggles up against my chest and allows me to sing and rock him to sleep. But today, he reared back his little head, began crying, and flailing his arms. I tried to soothe him, saying, “I know you are tired, little guy. But you will feel happier and more peaceful if you rest.” Don’t worry, we can play again when you wake up.” As I said the words, I heard God’s Spirit whisper, “Sometimes you act just like a toddler fighting rest.” I had to laugh because it was true.
Growing up, I was never a fan of classical music. This might be because my stepfather played Handel’s Messiah every Christmas at an ear-splitting level. To clarify, I didn’t mind the words or message, just the type of singing, and the fact that he blasted it so loud. To this day, I can still hear the words “For unto us a Child is born…Wonderful, Counselor” echoing in my brain at full volume.
I have a fear problem.
A couple of years ago, I was in a terrible car accident on a rainy day. I totaled my car and broke my back.
And now I have an unbelievable fear of driving, especially in the rain.
I was convinced I had missed a step when I became a Christian because I didn’t act like a Christian. I was too angry. My temper was too short. And no matter how many times I asked my children nicely to do something, I always ended up yelling at them. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough to be a Christian. After all, even though I’d heard this verse a thousand times, I didn’t feel like a new creation: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”. (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)
Are you a stressed-out, anxious, exhausted mom? Is there a recurrent pattern of “if only” in your mind? If only I could get more sleep. If only I had more time. If only I knew the right way to do this. If only I knew the right words to say. If only I had more patience. If only I could be a better mom like ____.
Why are hugs so magical? Sometimes, all we need is a hug to melt away all our stress, make us feel safe, calm the storms raging in our minds, and reassure us everything will be okay. When life gets tough, we need a warm embrace—not words, not advice, just a hug to make us feel better. Why? Hugs let us know we matter and are loved.
So, how do we know when to be silent or speak? I believe the answer is to pause. Pausing keeps us from rushing in with a reprimand and enables us to be helpful rather than hurtful. It allows us to choose our words carefully and reveal God’s truth.
When someone is in love, people say, “You are glowing!” Perhaps this is because feeling loved warms our souls and illuminates our whole being. However, this doesn’t only apply to romantic love. Knowing we are loved changes us. We perceive ourselves differently, act differently, react differently, and love differently.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is advice we should all heed. Or should we? There was a point in my life when I thought if I just tried harder, I would stop letting God down. I knew that He forgave me when I sought forgiveness. But I was convinced that because I kept making the same mistakes again and again, I was a huge disappointment to God.