Is there a difference between knowing who God says you are and acting like that person? I once thought there must be some magical way to get God’s truth of my identity from my head to my heart. There must be a trick to actually “receiving” His gift of love and feeling the freedom His word promises.
Our Identity In Christ
The Bible tells us that because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, this is who God says we are.
- Loved (Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:10)
- Saved (Ephesians 2:8)
- Accepted (Romans 15:7)
- Forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
- Free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)
- Redeemed (Galatians 3:13)
- Chosen (1 Peter 2:9)
- God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)
- A child of God (John 1:12)
- A friend of Jesus (John 15:15)
My Identity Crisis
Because I wasn’t able to view myself as God does, everything at work was going wrong. No matter what I did, I felt my colleagues disliked me and put me down. I had a meeting scheduled to meet with both my mentor and boss. I needed help. So, the day before, during worship, I cried out to God. And thankfully, I clearly heard His voice speaking to me. He told me I needed to lay aside my emotions and be willing to listen and work things out.
However, despite my best efforts in the meeting the following day, I felt attacked, defensive, and angry. I said horrible things about how untrue and unfair my colleagues’ accusations were. I even said I hated them. Yes, I really said that!
I came home sobbing. I knew I had done everything wrong. Rather than acting like a deeply loved, forgiven, and fully pleasing child of God, I allowed my feelings to control my words. And I’d done exactly the opposite of what I’d heard God tell me to do. Not only had I failed at work, but I had failed God.
But God…
Over the next few months, I lived with the consequences of my actions and words. Let’s just say things at work were rough. And although I didn’t deserve it, God continued to walk beside me, gently nudging me to change. He showed me that it wasn’t my colleagues I hated. What I hated were my “feelings” of rejection. He reminded me that we are made in His image. Thus, our emotions are not wrong—they are simply a part of who we are.
God reminded me of an image I’d seen years ago of a truck towing a trailer. The truck represented us, the gas represented God’s Word, and the trailer represented our feelings. It was a visual reminder that just as a car can’t be steered by its trailer, we cannot steer through life propelled by our emotions. We must fill our tank with God’s Word and allow it to steer us through life.
Again, this was something I knew. Yet, I continued to act otherwise. So, I cried out to God, “Why do I keep making the same mistake? I know you love me, Lord. But I am so afraid no one else does. So I act defensively, out of anger, instead of the peace of your love.”
God’s Answer
Shortly after, I found God’s answer while reading the book Tired of Trying by Ashley Morgan Jackson. This sentence practically leaped off the page: “There will be times when we slide from depending on God to depending on what we know about God.” This was precisely what I’d been doing. So, I kept reading and found this little gem. “God’s change is both immediate and a process.“ This was a reminder that no one is perfect. Life is a process of trying, making mistakes, returning to God, trusting Him, and relying on His strength. God showed me change is a lifelong process. And He is gentle, loving, and patient with us. So, we must also be gentle, loving, and patient with ourselves, even when we repeatedly make the same mistakes.
You see, friend, it is not possible to fail God. Because God made us, He knows our strengths and weaknesses. He also knows what we will do in any situation, even before we do it. So, my inability to control my emotions that fateful day did not surprise God. But what it did do was get my attention. It made me realize I needed to change.
The Identity Lesson
God sometimes allows us to fail, so we will see how much we need Him. If I had allowed myself to rely on His truth about who I am and the promptings of His Spirit that day, things would have turned out a lot differently. But because I didn’t, I learned a hard lesson. And eventually, I realized that the only thing God wanted from me was my love. He hopes for progress, not perfection. And, day by day, He is making us more like Jesus.
Steps Towards Acting According To Our Identity
We can trust God will help us transfer the truth of our identity from our heads to our hearts. Then, we will be able to act accordingly. But this process may take some time as God slowly grows and transforms us. So, in the meantime:
- Remember the lesson I learned: God is not as impatient with us as we are with ourselves. So we can be gentle and forgiving with ourselves when we make mistakes.
- Pray and ask God to help us depend on His identity and strength as we become more like Christ. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives” (Luke 11:9, NIV).
- Meditate on God’s Word and truth when we feel like giving up. Be sure to speak and hear God’s Word because “faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17, ESV).
- And know we are valuable to God no matter what we do. God loves us! “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1, NIV).
We Will Get There!
Finally, Friend, as we lean into God’s Word and presence, He will cement our identity in Christ into our hearts and minds, transforming the hurt and lifetime of experience that drives our behavior. As long as we continue to seek Him with a humble heart, we can trust he will help us become more Christlike. “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns” (Philippians 1:6 ESV).
