“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is advice we should all heed. Or should we? There was a point in my life when I thought if I just tried harder, I would stop letting God down. I knew that He forgave me when I sought forgiveness. But I was convinced that because I kept making the same mistakes again and again, I was a huge disappointment to God.
The problem was I was holding onto a lot of pain from my childhood, so my past rejection was influencing my thoughts and feelings. As I grew older, I survived by building walls to keep people at a safe distance. I also became defensive and angry. I thought keeping others from getting too close would protect me from being rejected and hurt again. But my self-created armor kept me from loving others the way God wanted me to. So, I repeatedly sought God’s forgiveness and tried hard to change my behavior to please God. Yet, the harder I tried, the more I failed, and the worse I felt.
The solution was to begin allowing God’s truth to influence my thoughts, feelings, and actions rather than the pain of my past. Since the only place to find God’s truth is in the Bible, I needed to turn to God’s Word and allow it to transform me by renewing my mind. (Romans 12:2)
What Does God’s Word Say?
Can We Disappoint God?
No, God is love. (1 John 4:8) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV).
God’s love is translated as “agape,” which means selfless, unconditional, and everlasting. He demonstrated this by sacrificing His own Son to come into the world and die for us while we were still sinners (John 3:16 and Romans 5:8). Thus, our behavior can’t disappoint God. If it could, then God’s love would be conditional. The Bible also tells us nothing we do can ever and will ever be able to separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).
Sin And Grace
God wants us to live sin-free lives. “Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! “(Psalm 128:1, ESV). The Bible states this because God wants us to remain close to Him, live free of sin’s consequences, and let our light shine before others so they may come to know Him.
However, God knew humans couldn’t live sin-free. That’s why He sent Jesus. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV). Thanks to Jesus, we have God’s free gift of Grace and forgiveness. We cannot earn God’s Grace by doing good deeds, nor lose it by doing bad deeds. (Ephesians 2:8)
However, we should not continue to sin because we can’t disappoint God. “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Romans 6:1-2, ESV).
Should We Try Harder?
God wants His people to live blamelessly. “And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1: 9-11, ESV). However, as this verse points out, the way to do this is not by trying harder. It is through the righteousness of Jesus.
Trying harder means using our strength to focus on the wrong thing, the sin. Instead, we can fix our eyes on Jesus and allow His strength and power to help us. Rather than trying harder, we can admit we are weak and seek God’s strength and power. Like the apostle Paul, we can let God’s grace be sufficient for us. Despite having a persistent thorn in his flesh, Paul said, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” 2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV).
Pray Rather Than Try
If we want to tap into Christ’s righteousness and power, we can abide in Him and strengthen our relationship with Him. And the way to strengthen any relationship is through communication. So rather than trying to win the battle with our sin through self-effort, we can pray. “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually” (1 Chronicles 16:11, NIV). Then, when we pray, the Holy Spirit will help us overcome our flesh and submit to God’s ways (Romans 8:7-9).
We can’t limit our prayers because we think we are sinful or undeserving. We are not praying because of who we are but because of who God is. Remember what David said, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34: 5, NIV).
Trying Harder Is NOT The Answer
My friend, trying harder is not the answer to living a Godly life—surrendering to God’s grace, strength, and Spirit is. No amount of self-effort can help us overcome sin. However, a deeper relationship with Jesus will allow transformation to take place within us. So, we can stop telling ourselves we can do it if we try harder. The only affirmation we need to say is, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NIV).
