People say we won’t change unless the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing. But why is it people hate change so much? Change is inevitable. Circumstances, finances, homes, jobs, people, relationships, and seasons all change. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV) However, there is one thing we can rely on that does not change: God and His love.” For I the Lord do not change.” (Malachi 3:6, ESV) “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end” (Lamentations 3:22, ESV)
Change can be hard because it’s scary. Let’s face it, we don’t like it when we don’t know what the future will look like or when we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes change is not what we desire. And many times change comes as a result of our mistakes and failures, or even the failings or actions of others. Change may be hard, but it’s a necessary part of growth. Additionally, change has the potential to make us better and increase our faith. And what could be more beautiful than that?
My Hard Change Story
When I was 52 and after almost 30 years of marriage, I went through a divorce. And for the first time ever, I found myself an empty nester and living alone. I had to support myself financially on a teacher’s salary, which was no easy feat. When I bought a home, I had to learn how to maintain it. This turned out to be no easy thing either. I could barely use a screwdriver and knew nothing of DIY projects. Even doing yardwork turned out to be way more work than I had bargained for.
But what I found most difficult was the silence. In the past, I always had someone, my parents, college roommates, husband or children, to talk to. Now it was just me and God. And I am embarrassed to say I gave Him quite an earful of whining and complaining. But I am happy to report God brought me through this difficult time to the other side. As a result, I am stronger, happier, and working with a renewed purpose.
Change Can Be Hard
These are just a some reasons change can be difficult:
- Loss: Change involves a degree of loss. It forces us to let go of something in our past.
- Effort: It takes work to adapt and learn new skills, routines, or habits.
- Discomfort: New things can feel uncomfortable. We are forced to try new things and may make mistakes.
- Uncertainty: We don’t know what the future holds or what to expect.
- Self-judgment: We may question how we got where we are or condemn ourselves for past mistakes.
- Old Habits: Our old habits have become and may be hard to change.
- Lack of motivation: Our lack of motivation may make us desire to give up.
Change Can Be Scary
For all of these reasons, change can be scary and may cause us to be anxious or fearful. Fear is a powerful emotion that can impact our thoughts and behavior. In fact, it’s such a common human condition that the word “fear” is used 400 times in the King James translation of the Bible. And the phrase “fear not” or “Be not afraid” is used 103 times. God clearly wants us to know we do not need to fear. We can trust him. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, ESV) We can choose faith over fear.
Change Can Be Frustrating
Change can be frustrating because it keeps us wondering what the future will look like. We may not know what to do or what steps to take in the present. And we may be asking why we must let go of the past.
I don’t know about you, but I am famous for asking why. The thing is, God never told us we had to have all the answers. But he did tell us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV) God wants us to have faith in Him and trust He has good plans for us. (Jeremiah 29:11) We can trust in His plans based on who He is and what He’s already done.
God also tells us we can ask Him to show us when we don’t know what’s next. “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” (Jeremiah 33:3, ESV) So, it’s ok if we don’t have all the answers or have it all figured out. We can rely on God to guide us, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Change Can Be a Result of Mistakes or Failures
Sometimes we are forced to go through a change because we have messed up. But we must not let ourselves get caught up in self-condemnation or fall prey to the enemy’s lies. Our past mistakes and failures do not define us. Nor do they keep us from experiencing God’s love and forgiveness.
God delivered the Israelites from captivity in Babylon, despite their disobedience and sin. And He loves us so much that even when we were sinful and unworthy, He sent Jesus to die for us. “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.” (Ephesians 1:7, ESV)
Our past failures do not have to keep us from moving forward and experiencing a bright future. God is able even when we feel we’ve failed. God reminds us, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV) Not matter how we got into our present circumstances or what lies before us, nothing is too big for God.
Change May Even Be the Result of Things Done to Us
Sometimes the change we are experiencing is due to the poor actions of others. But we can choose growth over grudges and forgive. Jesus reminds us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)
Rather than fixating on what was done to us, we can let go of the offense and focus on God. He will deal with the other person according to His justice. “‘Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:9, NIV)
My friend, what the other person did isn’t important because forgiveness isn’t for the other person. Forgiveness is for us. It allows us to walk in freedom without the weight of hurt, anger, and bitterness. Holocaust survivor Corrie ten Boom said it best, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”
Change is Not Always What We Want
Change may not necessarily be something we want. We may feel comfortable where we are, but we aren’t changing, growing, or being challenged. Sometimes we may not even be happy where we are, or we may feel like we are in a rut. But the prospect of change overwhelms us. However, God loves us too much to leave us as we are.
God may push us into a season of change because He knows it’s what we need, and He has something better for us. Therefore, in order to grow, we need to surrender our plans for our lives. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9, ESV) Even when change doesn’t feel good, we can trust God is good and He knows what’s best for our future. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13, NIV)
When we surrender who we were and what we want, we make room for who God wants us to be. We can remember we are mere clay in God’s hands and trust Him. Then, He will make us and mold us into a beautiful person. We can faithfully proclaim, “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8, NIV)
Practical Steps to Cope With Change:
Acknowledge the Emotions
In times of change, we may feel anxious, lost, confused, afraid, alone, empty, or even depressed. Feeling these emotions is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. God gave us emotions as part of who we are. So affirm and acknowledge your feelings.
Pray
God wants a relationship with us. So we can talk to Him and be real. We can tell Him how we feel and ask for what we need to help us get through our time of change.
- When we feel anxious, we can ask God to quiet our mind remembering His Word says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV)
- When we feel lost, confused, and don’t know what to do, we can ask God for direction. He says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalm 32:8, NIV)
- When we feel afraid and alone, God says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)
- When we feel empty, depressed, or hard-pressed, we can pray anyway. In fact, we can pray even harder when it’s hard to pray.
Friend, it doesn’t matter how or why we’ve found ourselves in a season of change. It doesn’t even matter if it’s due to our own mistakes. We pray not because of who we are and what we’ve done, but rather because of who God is and what Jesus has done. Jesus even reminded us, “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (John 14:14, NIV)
Be still
God’s Word says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10, NIV) So, once we’ve prayed and done our best, we can trust, be still, and rest. “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31, NIV)
Seek Wisdom From God’s Word
When we don’t know what to do next, we may be tempted to search for wisdom on Google or social media, But what we truly need is the hope, wisdom, and promises that can only be found in the Bible.
Circumstances and life change. But God’s Word never changes. However, it has the power to change use. God’s word is truth. (John 17:17) “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NIV)
Final Thoughts:
Friend, when we are going through a difficult or tiresome time of change, we can rest assured we aren’t alone. We can rest in God’s loving hands, knowing He will use this time for our benefit. “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” (Isaiah 41:13, ESV) Just as the leaves change into a spectacular work of art in the Fall, God wants us to remember that although change is hard, it’s also beautiful.
For further Study:
10 Scriptures to Meditate on During Seasons of Transition and Change
