When someone sneezes, “God Bless You” pops out of our mouth without a thought. It’s an automatic, polite habit. But what does it actually mean? And why do we say it when someone sneezes? But here’s an even bigger question: What if I said our greatest blessings may actually come through heartache?
What Does God Bless You Actually Mean?
The definition of God’s blessing can be understood through the Lord’s instructions to Moses for the priests. “This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace” (Numbers 6:23-26, NIV).
Wow, God’s blessings are lovely! Who would have thought we were bestowing something so beautiful on people, even strangers, all the time simply because they sneeze?
Why Do We Say “God Bless You”?
This saying became a custom because, long ago, people believed one’s spirit left the body momentarily when one sneezed. So people began saying “bless you” to keep evil spirits from entering while the spirit was absent.
We do not bless people only when they sneeze, however. Many people pray for God’s blessings over others or even ask for it for themselves. After all, who wouldn’t want the Lord’s graciousness and peace?
How Can Our Greatest Blessings Come Through Heartache?
Heartache is the opposite of blessing. So, how could I justify stating our greatest blessings might come through it? And why does the bible say, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds”? (James 1:2, NIV).
I can only explain this by looking back at my life. Looking in my rearview mirror, I can always see God’s fingerprints. Now, I can see He was not only there with me but also used my experiences and created something good from them. Even when I lost all hope and felt like I was walking through fire, God always had a bigger plan than I could see or comprehend. God has used even my biggest heartache to transform my life and the lives of people I love. You see, His kingdom’s purposes are always higher than our temporary sufferings.
My Biggest Heartache
The only way I can illustrate this is by sharing my biggest heartache. You see, my son Stephen was born early, multiply disabled, and sick. And during his entire life of 13 short months, he cried out in pain nonstop, gained little weight, and never even slept through the night. His little body gave him no peace.
I spent every waking moment of those 13 months praying, taking him to specialists, trying new doctors, learning new therapies, and fighting for my son. And when my insurance wouldn’t pay, I fought them, too. But in the end, I prayed and asked God to take his pain, even if it meant I would lose him. But when Stephen died, I couldn’t forgive myself. I heaped guilt on myself forever, praying such a prayer and not fighting harder. And quite honestly, it took me years to climb out from under the heartrending grief, guilt, and anger at everyone, including God.
The Blessings In My Heartache
But now, years later, I can see how God never left my side. He was with me, easing the bumps in the road however he could. God supplied specialists when doctors had no answers. When insurance refused to pay for therapy, the Foundation for Blind Children miraculously offered it for free. God led us to an amazing music and massage therapist when nothing else soothed my son’s pain. And when the Intensive care doctors said Stephen wouldn’t live through the night, I went to the chapel and prayed. And in the morning, God did a miracle. Stephen astounded the doctors with his recovery.
Then, God gave us three more blessings-three incredible months to enjoy our son. During these months, Stephen was not as sick and smiled for the first time. And when he did finally succumb to his last round of illness, we were visiting our hometown, surrounded by our family, friends, and a support network. During it all, God was there, providing divine intervention and directing our steps, even providing the right timing and location of his death. Yet, I couldn’t see Him or understand any of it then.
Before I Understood God’s Blessings
Growing up, I went to church on and off. But I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t follow all the rules in the bible. So, I didn’t feel worthy of God’s love. During college, I was brainwashed by professors, the media, and a culture that held higher beliefs in science than God. So, I walked away. I can’t say I didn’t believe in God. I suppose I just felt indifferent. But perhaps a seed of faith stored deep inside me was why I was able to make my one final plea to God before Stephen died.
The Beginning of My Understanding
When I lost my son, I could not see or understand why God had allowed any of this. And for the longest time, I could not forget the excruciating pain of seeing his tiny, baby-blue casket when we laid him to rest. At that moment, I wished I could die right along with him. But God gave the pastor the exact right words. They pierced through my pain into my heart. In fact, they are the only words I can remember from the entire service. He said, “Jesus was waiting to take Stephen into His arms the moment he left mine.” It was these words which eventually called me back to Jesus myself.
Over the next few months, I kept dwelling on the pastor’s words. It became the beginning of hope. I began to hope my son was free from pain and I might be with him again someday. When we returned home, our neighbor brought us food with a comforting bible verse attached. Over the next few months, she began sharing her faith with me. However, I moved because living in my home was too painful. My house had too many reminders of our son everywhere I looked. But amazingly enough, when we moved, my new neighbor was a Christian, too. She invited me to a coffee group for stay-at-home moms. And she shared her faith and eventually led me back to church and salvation.
God’s Blessings Changed the Lives of My Family
At the same time, my younger sister, who lived in a different state but had been with me during Stephen’s last illness and death, also became a Christian. And eventually, my husband, other children, and mom were saved over the next eight years. Now, I am not saying God allowed my son to die to save my entire family. What I am saying is He used it. He used our pain for His good purpose. God desires for everyone to know Jesus and be saved (1 Timothy 2:4). This higher purpose is bigger than all the pain and suffering we endured.
As I walked through this challenging journey, this Bible verse became my lifeline. Some days, when the grief was the heaviest, it was the only thing I could cling to. And now, it hangs framed above my bed, where I see it every day: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28,
But Why God?
Of course, I still had many questions for God. And perhaps I will never fully understand why my son had to die. I have often thought we are placed on earth to fulfill a purpose. Possibly my son fulfilled his. I honestly don’t know. But I do know my son Stephen is now in a place of love. He is free from pain, illness, and the suffering he endured while here on earth. And when I pass from this life, we will be reunited for eternity. I can’t think of anything more beautiful.
And, like me, you may also wonder how a loving God could allow us to suffer. Why did He allow my child to suffer? Why couldn’t God have found a better way to accomplish His plan? And I honestly do not have the answer. But what I do know is we live in a fallen and sinful world. And God never promised living in this world would be easy. In fact, He said, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, ESV),The Greek word for “tribulation” used here is “thlipsis.” It means “to crush, press together or squeeze. But Jesus wants us to have hope.
God Understands Our Pain
Jesus also suffered and died. But He did it so we could be saved from death, sin, and the brokenness of this world. And what blows my mind even more than this, especially knowing the heartbreak of losing a child, is God suffered, too, when He sent his son into this world to die for us. Why? because he “so loved” us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV),
God understands our pain, even if we can’t understand His plan. And perhaps we were never meant to understand. After all, the bible tells us, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways’” Isaiah 55:8-9,
The Blessings From the Pain
And although I can’t understand, I can tell you my family has experienced God’s blessings despite all the tears. I know He had a plan for our redemption, even though we had to walk through so much heartache. I also know He loved and comforted me through it all, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)
Someday, You, Too, Will Find a Blessing
Because I experienced such profound heartache, comfort, and blessings, I now feel compelled to comfort other people who are enduring broken hearts, people like you. If I could, I would hold you in my arms and whisper words of encouragement. “You are not alone. I have been there. God sees you. God understands. And God will use this awful time to bless you somehow.” I pray sharing my story will help you endure the trials of your life and give you hope for the blessing that will someday come out of it. “Not only this, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5, NIV),
Please Listen to This Song
I heard the song Blessings by Laura Story a few years after my son passed. It brought me to my knees. I felt it’s truth with all my being and knew I wasn’t alone. It was what helped me begin to see God’s bigger purposes and blessings for all I’d walk through. If you’ve never heard it, please listen to this beautiful song.
