“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4 (NIV)
Have you ever said, “I will be happy when …”? I will be happy when: I can drive, I graduate, I establish my career, I find the perfect partner, I buy a home, I have a child, etc. Many people say this is just an expression of a dream or goal. And goals are imperative in life. But thinking in these terms is thinking with a negative mindset. We are basically saying we aren’t happy now and won’t be until we achieve something. The problem is, achieving the goal doesn’t satisfy. So, we immediately set a new one, “Well, maybe I will be happy when …” Perhaps it’s time to seek joy instead.
I remember a day when I was newly dating my husband. At that moment, I was so grateful that God had placed such a good man in my life. His unconditional love and acceptance felt wonderful. I remember hugging him and saying, “You make me so happy!” But rather than return my sentiment, he pulled back, looked me in the eyes, and very seriously said, “No, that’s an inside job. You must seek joy within yourself.”
At the time, I didn’t understand what he meant. But now, five years later, I do. My husband understood the difference between joy and happiness. He was glad that I felt happy, but he wanted me to experience more than fleeting happiness. He wanted me to have joy from the inside out.
You see, happiness is different from joy. Happiness is the emotional state of being content. It’s having feelings of pleasure or delight. But happiness is a fleeting emotion triggered by a specific event or circumstance, like reaching one of the above goals. Thus, happiness is a product of external sources or something that happens to us.
Joy, however, is an internal feeling greater than happiness. It is the state of being content throughout life, no matter what circumstances one experiences. It stems from a sense of belonging, meaning, and purpose. Joy is a deliberate choice. One can choose to feel joy in any circumstance because it’s an attitude of the heart.
When we have an attitude of only being happy only when something comes to pass, we are
placing our well-being in the hands of life events, other people, or the world’s pleasures. Thus, saying “I’ll be happy when …” can be dangerous. You see, we live in a fallen world where the enemy reigns. This is a big problem because the enemy loves to orchestrate adverse life events, tempt us, and lie. If things go poorly, he tells us things will never get better, it’s our fault or we deserve it. Perhaps this is why the bible warns: “Friendship with the world means enmity against God?” (James 4:4, NIV)
Therefore, it’s time to change our mindset and seek joy. The Bible tells us “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4, NIV) This implies that having joy is a choice and we should seek joy, rather than happiness. So, how then do we choose joy?
1. Seek God.
Spending time with people we love always makes us feel happy. So, to experience long-lasting joy, we need to make a habit of spending time with the One who truly and unconditionally loves us. We cultivate our relationship with God through prayer, meditation, or worship. “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11, NIV)
2. Reflect on your identity in Christ.
True inner joy comes from feeling loved and accepted and having a sense of belonging. God loves us with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) Because of what Jesus did on the cross, we became blessed, redeemed, forgiven, holy, and blameless children of God. (Ephesians 1:3-7 and 1 John 3:1)
3. Ask God.
To seek joy, we must pray daily, express gratitude, and ask God to meet our needs, including our need for joy. “Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16: 23b-24, NIV)
4. Renew Your Mind
We can stop looking for happiness from circumstances and things of the world. Instead, we can transform our mind and its desires through the Word of God. The bible contains truth, wisdom, advice, encouragement, and promises. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)
If we let Him, God will be our true source of joy. If we choose Him in our daily lives, then no matter what we experience, what goal we reach, or what relationship we gain, we will have true, enduring joy.
Dear Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for seeking happiness in the fleeting things of this world. Help me to choose You in order to know enduring joy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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