There is Victory in Letting Go of Expectations

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5 (NKJV)

Our expectations often lead to disappointment. We expect our lives to follow a particular trajectory, but they don’t. We expect life to be easy. But it is anything but. So we pray and expect God to answer our prayers the way we think He should, to give us our dreams, and to fulfill our expectations. But God has another plan.

I expected to be loved as a child, but I was abused. When I began school, I expected to make friends, but my peers rejected me due to my disability. I expected to become a doctor. However, when I attended college, a representative from a medical school informed me that this was impossible due to my eyesight. When I got married, I expected my spouse to complete me. But he struggled with addiction, so we struggled. When I had children, I expected to have the perfect family, but my family was far from perfect. My oldest child had a will of iron and now also struggles with addiction. Our second child only lived a year due to his disabilities and illnesses. Our third child had ADHD. Then, we almost lost my fourth child when she was born two months premature. Finally, after 30 years, my marriage ended in divorce.

I recently came across a great quote that got me thinking: “There is beauty in letting go of expectations” (Mike White). I believe he is right. Sometimes, we have to let go of our expectations and find peace and purpose in the life God has provided. Despite what we plan and expect our lives to bring, God also has a plan for us. And God’s plan may look less like a life of comfort and ease and more like one of purpose. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV).

The best example of this is Mary. She expected to marry Joseph and live a happy, quiet life raising children and loving God. But God’s plan was radically different for her. She ended up pregnant before marriage, which was socially unacceptable. Joseph almost called off the wedding until an angel changed his mind. When her son was born, he was born in a stable. Next, she and Joseph have to go on the run to protect the baby. Finally, she lost her son cruelly when He was crucified for our sins.

However, God’s plan was much bigger than her expectations. Because Mary didn’t get the life she expected, we were saved! Her life had a beautiful purpose beyond what she could see, imagine, or understand. Because Mary responded to God’s change of plans by saying, “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38, NKJV), we can now put our expectations in God’s plan and promises.

Oh, friend, I can’t pretend to know or understand God’s plans. But I can tell you that God is turning my pain into purpose. He is leading me to share my story to help and inspire others. He brought the most wonderful man into my life. And we are about to celebrate our second anniversary. Although my life has not gone as I expected, God has brought me joy, peace, and a sense of purpose.

However, I must be honest, surrendering our expectations to God’s plans can still feel challenging. But we can trust God! We can emulate David and remind ourselves to lay them down. “My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” (Psalm 62:5, NKJV)

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your excellent plans. Help me surrender my expectations for my life. Help me to trust that You’ve got me, and have a good plan and purpose for everything in my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen