Have you ever felt your emotions were too intense? Perhaps someone has even implied you are “too much”: you are too emotional, sensitive, or dramatic. If so, then you aren’t alone. Some people just feel more deeply than others. But is this a bad thing?
Are Emotions Bad?
Emotions are a gift from God. They make us uniquely human and make life interesting and exciting. In fact, the feelings of love, joy, and peace are what make life worth living. Additionally, emotions can warn us of dangerous people or situations.
About 15 – 20 percent of the population can be described as highly sensitive and can feel things deeply. These people are more self-aware, sensitive, perceptive, caring, compassionate, empathetic, and attentive to the feelings and needs of others. Therefore, being emotional can be a good thing.
My Lesson About Excessive Emotional Reactions
As a person who feels things deeply, I often feel my emotions control me rather than vice versa. Once, I was bathing my toddlers when they began arguing. The older sibling got angry, screamed, and hit her brother in the face. I started shaking and felt irrational fear. Therefore, without thinking, I commanded her to leave the tub. But she was still soapy. So, as she climbed out, her foot slipped, and she hit her head on the tub’s edge. She got a small gash by her temple, which bled profusely, as all head wounds do.
At the time, I had no idea my excessive fear was triggered by witnessing anger and violence as a child. All I knew was my reaction, or poor decision, caused my daughter to get hurt. Because I was so upset, I couldn’t function and had to call a neighbor for help. Unfortunately, the wound required a couple of stitches. But thankfully, she healed quickly.
As the years passed, I experienced many similar situations. Additionally, I experienced situations in which my negative thoughts and low self-esteem had a profound effect on my emotions, moods, reactions, and relationships. Eventually, I learned the truth of my true worth and identity in Christ and felt safe, loved, and in control of my emotions.
Risks for Emotionally Sensitive People
As my story illustrates, emotionally sensitive people like myself can react impulsively and make poor choices that lead to problems. Likewise, we can be more susceptible to feeling overwhelmed. This can leave us at risk for anxiety, depression, and health issues. Therefore, emotionally sensitive people must be careful not to allow their emotions to dictate how they respond to people and situations. If they respond self-defensively due to past hurt, trauma, or fear, as I did, this can negatively impact their relationships or life decisions.
The inability to manage intense emotions can lead to:
- physical or emotional outbursts
- anxiety and stress
- depression
- insomnia
- muscle tension and pain
- relationship problems
- trouble at work or school
- overeating
- substance abuse
Reasons Why Some People Experience Excessive Emotions
People who feel deeply and struggle to manage their emotions can experience emotional dysregulation. This can be caused by many things, including:
- Lack of sleep
- Hunger or poor nutrition
- Stress
- Major life changes
- Hormonal changes
- Personality traits
- Past traumas
- Hormonal imbalances
- Mental health conditions
What Does The Bible Say About Intense Uncontrollable Emotions?
Intense emotions can lead to excessive emotional reactions or uncontrollable expressions of anger, anxiety, fear, or frustration, which are disproportionate to the situation. Consequently, the Bible reminds us these runaway emotions can be dangerous. “A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones” (Proverbs 14:30-31, MSG). In this passage, “corrode the bones” symbolizes damage to the body and soul. Therefore, maintaining emotional stability is essential for physical and mental well-being.
Strategies To Manage Runaway Emotions In the Moment
Being emotionally sensitive can be good, and not all emotions are destructive. So when we feel like our emotions are taking control, we can strive to regulate, not repress them. Here are some great techniques I have found to help me when I begin to feel my emotions running away.
Count
Counting to ten is the quickest, easiest regulation technique. Counting allows us to breathe, slow our heartbeat, regain our composure, and focus on something else.
Imagery
We can close our eyes and imagine being in a tranquil environment. I love to imagine I am walking in the cool water at the edge of a beach or being wrapped in God’s loving arms. “His massive arms are wrapped around you, protecting you. You can run under his covering of majesty and hide. His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm” Psalm 91:4 (TPT).
Breathe
Because I wear my emotions on my sleeve, my husband always knows when I am losing it. He frequently reminds me to “breathe, just breathe.” Deep breathing can help calm us down and feed oxygen to our brain. I try to focus on God when I do deep breathing exercises since my breath comes from Him. “He himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.” (Acts 17:25, NIV).
- I close my eyes and breathe in God’s presence, love, and peace for 4 seconds.
- I hold my breath for 4 seconds while being still.
- Then I breathe out for 4 seconds, picturing myself letting go of my extra emotions.
Refocus
We can renew or transform our minds and emotions by focusing or meditating on a favorite Bible passage or promise. (Romans 12:2) We can say things like:
- “I am loved by God” – Jeremiah 31:3
- “I am accepted”- Romans 15:7
- “I am chosen”- John 15:16
- “I am free”- John 8:36
- “I am forgiven”- 1 John 1:9
- “I am a child of God”- John 1:12
- “I am made in God’s image”- Genesis 1:27
- “I belong to Jesus” – 1 Corinthians 3:23
- “God did not give me the spirit of fear, but he gave me power, love, and self-discipline” – 2 Timothy 1:7
Mindful Grounding Techniques
We can take a “mindful minute” and practice a grounding technique to pull ourselves out of our hyperemotional state and back into the reality of our surroundings. Here are two I find quick, easy, and effective:
S-T-O-P
By focusing on one letter at a time and following the steps, we can control our intense emotions before they escalate.
- Say STOP to interrupt our thoughts.
- TAKE deep breaths.
- OBSERVE our body, mind, and emotions.
- PROCEED with how we’ve decided to react.
5-4-3-2-1
This exercise helps engage the senses and calms runaway emotions. List and picture:
- 5 things we can see,
- 4 things we can hear,
- 3 things we can feel,
- 2 things we can smell, and
- 1 thing we can taste.
Neutral, Noncommittal Responses
During conflicts with others, we may feel judged, threatened, or frightened. I have found it wise to respond neutrally without blaming or judging. This keeps me from saying something I may regret.
Similarly, when emotions are high, It is also never a good idea to commit to a future action or make a decision that could worsen the problem.
These are my two favorite quick responses.
- “You might be right.”
- “I’ll get back to you after I think about it.”
Step Away
When we’re in the heat of the moment, and our emotions are raging, we have no power to change the situation. The best thing we can do is step away from the situation and give ourselves time to regain control. We can think and react rationally once our emotions have calmed and we’ve restored balance.
Strategies To Prevent Future Runaway Emotions
Feel the Feelings
When our emotions override our sense of control, we can remember our emotions are not necessarily bad. Emotions can indicate danger, past trauma, or things our hearts and minds need to heal. Therefore, it’s important to allow them to have a voice.
Identify the Emotions
It’s also important to Identify precisely what we are feeling. Accurately labeling our emotions is our first clue to understanding why they feel so intense.
Accept The Emotions
It’s time to stop judging our emotions and start accepting them. We can think of them as messengers. Once we become more comfortable with them, we can work toward reacting in helpful ways. After all, God created us in His image (Genesis 1:27), precisely as we are, for a specific purpose. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV).
Take responsibility
Even though difficult circumstances, past experiences, and other people’s words or actions affect us, no one can make us feel a particular way. It’s our perception of the situation that can sometimes overload our emotions. Pointing our fingers will get us nowhere. Therefore, taking responsibility for our emotions and how we respond to them can help us change and grow.
Identify Triggers
As we begin examining our emotions, we may notice a pattern in the types of emotions or situations that trigger them. For example, I become fearful in situations involving violence or anger. And I become angry when I feel disrespected or rejected. By noting the circumstances that trigger our intense emotions, we can begin to identify their root cause. We can also try to avoid these situations or rely on regulation exercises when they can’t be avoided.
Journal
Once we have labeled our emotions and triggers, we can write them down, describing the situation. Over time, we may see a pattern emerge which can help us understand why we feel the way we do. Then, we can work towards changing and growing.
Pray
Using our journal as a guide, we can ask God to show us what our strong emotions mean. Because God knows more than we do, we can ask Him to give us wisdom about why particular situations trigger specific emotions. “For God sees everything you do and his eyes are wide open as he observes every single habit you have” (Proverbs 5:21-23, TPT).
We can also ask God to heal our hearts and minds from past events. When we pray, God listens. When we believe, God moves. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (I John 5:14-15, NIV).
Read the Bible
Emotions are birthed in thought. So, when we experience intense emotions, examining our previous thoughts can be helpful. We can ask ourselves whether these thoughts are based on truth or if they’re based on our skewed perception.
Insecurities, past hurts, or even trauma can skew our perception of what is truly happening. For example, certain situations may bring up thoughts of feeling less than, rejected, or endangered, even when this may not be the case. Therefore, we must learn to filter everything through the lens of truth. Awareness of the truth gives us the power to choose our response.
God’s word is truth ( Psalm 119:160). So, we can use God’s word to test whether our preceding thoughts are true. We can defeat lies and conquer our runaway emotions by bathing them in God’s trustworthy truth.
Reduce stress
When we are under a lot of stress, it’s hard to control our emotions and reactions. So here are a few reminders to help decrease stress:
- Get adequate sleep
- Spend time with friends to talk or laugh
- Exercise or do activities to release endorphins
- Get outside for fresh air or time in nature
- Enjoy hobbies and fun activities
- Read
- Listen to music
- Be creative
Seek support or professional help
Sometimes, we need someone we can trust to talk with. We can find a friend, mentor, or even a professional counselor to help us sort out our emotions and offer us insight or new strategies. Seeking help reassures us, helps us know we aren’t alone, and is a positive step to healing and growing.
Be Gentle With Ourselves
Finally, friend, when we feel “too much,” we can remember that being emotional is not necessarily bad. So, we can be gentle rather than judgmental with ourselves. As we seek God and learn to identify our emotions and the thoughts driving them, we will be able to replace those thoughts with truth. We can also use many tools and strategies to control intense emotions and choose reasonable responses.
