“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
Have you ever felt like giving up when parenting feels too hard? I have. I raised my daughter in a Christian home. We went to church every week. And I taught in her Sunday school classes. Additionally, I taught her right from wrong, gave her rules and consequences, and tried to exemplify living a Christian life. But when she was 21 years old, I got a midnight call from the police. She was being arrested for DUI. Consequently, I was destroyed. I felt I’d failed her and was a lousy mother.
Fourteen years have now passed. My daughter still struggles with addiction and depression. But worse than that, she now wants nothing to do with God. Although I’ve never stopped praying for my daughter, I admit I had begun to lose hope.
I recently shared my discouragement with a small group at church. So, our leader quoted this bible verse to me: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). Then, he reminded me that God’s timeline is different from ours. Additionally, he pointed out the phrase “when they are old.” He said the passage says nothing about the middle, just where she would be in the end. “Wait,” I asked, “when she is old?” How had I missed this part? I had been misquoting this bible verse for years and hitting myself over the head and heart with it.
And then I heard God’s gentle voice reminding me His Word is always true. Suddenly, my hope was renewed. Just because He hasn’t answered my prayers yet doesn’t mean He isn’t working on my daughter’s behalf right now! I know God will answer my prayers when and how He knows best. In the meantime, I choose to step forward in faith with God and rejoice in the knowledge that, someday, my daughter will be walking right beside me.
Parenting in today’s world is no easy task. There is no way to do it perfectly. But feeling guilty when we make mistakes or our children make poor choices is self-defeating. It allows the enemy to fill our minds with lies.
Three Steps for Parenting When You’re Discouraged:
- Pray
Go to God. Tell him your feelings. Allow Him to envelope you in His loving arms. And earnestly seek his wisdom and intervention. Pray like David. “Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. . .Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. . . But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God” (Psalm 31:2, 9, & 14, NIV).
- Seek Council, Encouragement, and Prayer From Other Believers.
Just as I found counsel and prayer from fellow believers, you will, too. And remember, there is power when believers pray together. “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18: 19-20, ESV).
- Read the Bible.
The Bible is full of truth, encouragement, and promises. God’s Word has the power to transform our minds and give us hope. “The LORD is faithful and will keep all of his promises. He is loving toward everything he has made” (Psalm 145:13, NIRV).
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for reminding me how powerful Your Word is. Nothing is too hard for You. Help me trust You when I feel discouraged and remember I am not alone. Remind me I can turn to You, fellow Christians, and Your Word anytime I need support. I trust You will answer my prayers in Your perfect time and way. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
