So you made mistakes . . . Now what?
We All Make Mistakes. Here’s One of Mine:
As a mom, I feel like I have always said the wrong thing. Instead of saying kind and encouraging words, I reacted in fear or anger, and what came out of my mouth was sometimes judgmental and hurtful.
I remember it as if it were yesterday. My four-year-old daughter was lying on her back, bouncing her one-year-old brother on her shins. Up and down, he bounced with giggles and shrieks of joy. Suddenly, he let go of her hands, flew into the air, and landed head-first on the tile. As I ran over to help my screaming son, these words flew out of my mouth: “No! What did you do?”
A short time later, the doctor assured us our son was fine. We just needed to watch him closely for 24 hours in case of a concussion. But let me tell you, those 24 hours felt impossibly long because of my guilt and fear. I remember sitting in his rocking chair at 3 a.m. watching him. As he slept, I cried out to God for his well-being and my forgiveness.
The Result of This Mistake:
Thankfully, my son woke up fine the next day. And even though I apologized to my daughter, I learned a hard lesson about speaking kind, encouraging words. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
However, even though I prayed and knew God would forgive me, a long time passed before I could forgive myself. And, sadly, I believe this led to even more mistakes. Because my guilt and fixation on my failures fueled my frustration and drove a wedge between God and myself.
My Distorted View of God:
I believe my failings as a parent, combined with the way I was brought up, gave me a distorted view of God. I mistakenly viewed my Heavenly Father as an authoritative, judgmental, earthly parent. This made me afraid of approaching God when I made mistakes. You see, my guilt kept me at arm’s length from Him. Thus, I couldn’t experience the peace of God’s love and forgiveness. Instead, I would promise to do better next time. However, fixating on my failures and vowing to improve with my strength usually resulted in frustration and more failure.
God’s Love and Grace Protects Us From Mistakes:
God loves us so much He saved us even when we were at our worst. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NIV)
And through His grace, God forgives and protects us, even from our mistakes. “How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.:” (Psalm 36:7, NLT)
Biblical Heroes Who Made Mistakes:
This verse was written by King David, who was known for making mistakes and running away. David committed adultery and murder, but God called him a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22).
But David wasn’t the only one who made mistakes. Jacob stole his brother’s inheritance and ran away for years. But God blessed him. And then his brother, Esau, forgave him. (Genesis 25:19 – 33:4) Abraham didn’t believe God’s promise about having children and took matters into his own hands. But God stayed true and kept His promise anyway. God made Abraham’s descendants more numerous than the stars. (Genesis 15-22) Peter denied Jesus three times. But Jesus forgave and restored him. Later, he began the church. (Matthew 26:69-74, John 21:15-17, and Matthew 16:18)
I could go on and on. The Bible is full of stories about how God forgave, rescued, and used Imperfect people. Therein lies the beauty of our relationship with God; He loves us no matter what!
Five Steps For Overcoming Mistakes:
So, what do you do when you make a mistake? You make a fresh start with God’s help. Here are five steps for overcoming past mistakes.
Step 1 – Remember:
Remember who God is and how much He loves you. “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8, NIV) And God loves you so much He sent Jesus to die for you.
In fact, Nothing you do will ever separate you from his love. “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV)
As we discussed above, God is love. And “love is patient and kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) Therefore, God the Father is patient with us. He is not sitting in heaven shaking His head and muttering every time we mess up. Instead, He longs for us to reach up, renew, refocus, and restart with His help.
Step 2 – Reach up:
Pray when your heart feels heavy with guilt about sin and mistakes. Confess, and make your heart right with God. Don’t run and hide from God. Reach up and restore your relationship.
“Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against the and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long….Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:2-3, 5, NIV)
Step 3 – Renew:
Renew your Spirit by reading the Bible’s words of encouragement, truth, and promises. “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3)
You can also listen to Christian music. Sometimes, music, especially biblically based songs, has a way of speaking to and restoring our souls.
Step 4 – Refocus:
Focus on Today’s Goal:
Moving forward requires taking our eyes off the past and focusing on doing right in the present. Think of driving a car. You steer in the direction you are looking in. If you look behind you while moving forward, you will crash. Likewise, when you look at the past, you only see mistakes and failures you can’t change. And you get stuck there.
Set your eyes on the goal, whatever small step you will do today. (Worry about tomorrow later.) “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13b-14)
Focus on Jesus:
Additionally, and most importantly, shift your focus off your past mistakes and current efforts and onto Jesus. Let His love and peace fill you and propel you forward. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NIV)
We can learn a great lesson from Peter. With Jesus’ encouragement, he walked on water. But the second he took his eyes off Jesus, he sank. (Matthew 14:28-33) We can do anything, including overcoming mistakes, when we focus on Jesus’ abilities rather than our own. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13, NKJV)
Step 5 – Restart:
Finally, don’t get discouraged. Never give up. Every day is a new beginning!
You can even restart multiple times within a day. Just stop, reach up, refresh, and refocus as needed. When you seek Him, God is always there, ready to give you a fresh start. His Holy Spirit lives inside you guiding and helping you.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:22-23a, NIV)
Related Articles:
Godly Ways to Recover from a Big Mistake
Every Day Is a Brand New Start
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